Sigh.

[akabana]

I have two and a half weeks to finish my master's thesis and I'm beginning to feel like I'm not going to make it. To be exact, I have seventeen days and at the moment, I still have to transcribe one quarter of my data and I only have about nine whole pages of something vaguely text-like, when the first version of the thesis is supposed to be a minimum of sixty pages long >___< I would have to write something like...*calculates on paper*... 2,94 pages a day to make it on time - and transcribe the missing data at some point, since I can't very well be writing my analysis part without data to analyze, can I?

It's not that writing itself is difficult, I've written 20-page scientific essays in one week, but it's making myself sit down to write is next to impossible. Take today: I've fiddled with my references and word processing options, read six comic books - my missing data - and written two whole sentences. If I go on like this, I'm really not going to make it. This whole thing has been hanging over my head like some kind of academic sword of Damocles for the past two years and I'm gradually getting sick and tired of it.

But I can't very well give up, since I went as far as to inform the office that I won't be available for translations until the end of month. In the living room, bf's watching television and probably thinking I'm busily writing my thesis. He's been terribly supporting. It would feel so embarrassing and disappointing to give up at this point.

And besides, I would feel like an utter cheat for the rest of my life and wouldn't be able to face myself ever again.

Comments

[saraste-impi.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you can do it! I have faith in you, because if you can't do it who can? (or something...) You just have to work, you can't give up now! Hear the call of a Masters degree. (And think how all will fawn over you when you're all done...)
*hug*

[akabana.livejournal.com]

Maybe. But what's most dispiriting is knowing I'm writing for a person (i.e. our prof) who couldn't give a shit about my thesis or even whether I ever graduate or not.

I know I could just write 60 pages of utter crap and probably get my degree, but I'm just not that kind of person. I'll write as well as I can, or not at all.

[saraste-impi.livejournal.com]

That is indeed a drag. But if you think about it you're also writing for yourself as in that you write it to graduate. But I feel for you, it's so dispiriting to do anything when no-one seems to care.

I used to be like that (write crap so as to get things done) but am not anymore. And isn't that a good thing? Shows you have moral fibre.

[akabana.livejournal.com]

Moral fibre be damned. It's stopping me from getting this done efficiently.