The collected excuses of an absent mind

A page and something, didn't bother to count. Although the total count is now to something like 23+ pages, so it must have been more than that O_o.

Am growing so sick and tired of this.

The new working desk arrived today and I spent most of the day assembling it with my dad and bf. The ensemble was integrated to a pre-existing bookshelf and also included some new shelves, so the whole thing took some time. Also, we had to take the old desk apart and move it out of the way. Which is why we now have a stylish black 'cube of drawers' which was previously integrated in the old desk and was the only part of the horrendous thing I ever liked. The new desk is much bigger than the old one, but it somehow seems to fit in our bedroom much better than the old one O_o. Must be an optic illusion created by the light-coloured wood or something...

But the main thing is: I can now spread out ^_^.  I always like to work by scattering all related and unrelated papers and books and whatnot all over the desk and floor and everywhere. I had no room for such a thing on the old desk so I ended up with a heap of stuff on the floor and lots of bending down >_<.

And I did manage to write a page and something today, with some great ideas. Better working position obviously improves the bloodflow to the brain. And did I mention that the whole thing looks so much more professional than the old one? It feels like having an actual office at home.

Only on measly page today >_<. Like George R.R. Martin is fond of saying: life is meaningless and has no purpose.

Augh.

Now I'll go and change the litterbox. Over and out.

Almost two pages today. And I've lost a reference. Or not lost, to be precise, I just can't find the article the bloody thing is in. I can almost remember the whole phrase I'm looking for, and the illustration that was on the same page. But what I can't recall is the exact source, or even the language of the source (I have articles in English, French and German). I tried flipping through the articles in the vain hope that I would miraculously find the part I want, but no. So I just wrote what I remembered it said and try to find the correct reference tomorrow.

Le sigh.

I have two and a half weeks to finish my master's thesis and I'm beginning to feel like I'm not going to make it. To be exact, I have seventeen days and at the moment, I still have to transcribe one quarter of my data and I only have about nine whole pages of something vaguely text-like, when the first version of the thesis is supposed to be a minimum of sixty pages long >___< I would have to write something like...*calculates on paper*... 2,94 pages a day to make it on time - and transcribe the missing data at some point, since I can't very well be writing my analysis part without data to analyze, can I?

It's not that writing itself is difficult, I've written 20-page scientific essays in one week, but it's making myself sit down to write is next to impossible. Take today: I've fiddled with my references and word processing options, read six comic books - my missing data - and written two whole sentences. If I go on like this, I'm really not going to make it. This whole thing has been hanging over my head like some kind of academic sword of Damocles for the past two years and I'm gradually getting sick and tired of it.

But I can't very well give up, since I went as far as to inform the office that I won't be available for translations until the end of month. In the living room, bf's watching television and probably thinking I'm busily writing my thesis. He's been terribly supporting. It would feel so embarrassing and disappointing to give up at this point.

And besides, I would feel like an utter cheat for the rest of my life and wouldn't be able to face myself ever again.

Situation: USB headphones broke and I still wanted to listen to music. So, I dug up some really old headphones and plugged them into the audio socket in the back of the CPU. They work, sort of. At the moment, I'm hearing music both from the headphones and the computer's built-in speakers. I've tried adjusting both the computers audio settings and the music player's own settings, but it seems to be a situation of "both or none" :( The problem seems to be that although computer's audio settings detect there are headphones plugged into the audio out, the music player doesn't detect any audio devices apart from the default one, and thus I'm unable to choose the headphones as the audio device to be used by the program. The compromise: I have to listen with a very low volume in any case, since the headphones are a model that goes inside the ear so there's nothing much to be heard from the computer's speakers.

Tomorrow, or the day after, I'm going to go and by a new set of USB headphones.

I think I'll just do some transcribing, since bf's watching the newer film adaptation of Väinö Linna's novel The Unknown Soldier and it's not going to end until after an hour and a half or so....

My sister-in-law (bf's kid sister) came by today and brought some toys for the boys: a fluffy, bird-like thingy tied to a stick with a thread and two chewing toys with catnip - I hadn't even known they made chewing toys for cats... Boys love them, especially the fluffy thingy on a stringy. The problem is that Leu, who is bolder and fatter and greedier of the two keeps growling and hissing at his brother every time he - that is, Leu - catches the fluffy thingy. I guess it's some kind of "my catch, go away" -kind of reaction, but it still isn't nice. And just a few minutes ago I spotted him trying to keep both chewing toys for himself. He surely is a greedy little bastard, that one.

At the moment, our cat Leu is busy killing a mouseskin on our bed. Not a real mouseskin, though, just a piece of fur ripped off a squeaking toy mouse. But it's an odd thing. Originally, bf's parents got two toy mice for the boys, a black one and a gray one, and for some feline reason they seem to like the gray one better. It was skinned in a matter of weeks, while the black mouse remains relatively intact after a year or so. They still love playing with the gray mouse's skin and the squeaky part - although the latter is so battered it won't squeak anymore :) Periodically, they lose one or both mouse-parts underneath the sofa, piano or some other furniture and seem to forget about them until they mysteriously reappear after a while.

I think a great part of the mouseskin's appeal lies in the fact that it's real fur, not fake. It was impossible to tell while it was still attached to the squeaky bit, but once peeled off, it's obvious. What makes the situation macabre is the fact that it's possible that it's actually cat fur, since they've been known to use cat and dog fur in toys made in China and elsewhere in East Asia. I don't think it feels or looks like cat, though. I prefer to think it's probably rabbit or something else.

As a sidenote: since the animal rights group Oikeutta Eläimille approached tv channels on Wednesday with shocking video material depicting maltreatment of pigs, chickens and hens on Finnish farms, I was once again glad I don't eat meat and use only organically produced eggs. I wonder how many omnivores lost their appetite for ham and chicken wings for good. Quite a few, I hope. I originally quit eating meat exactly because of the production-oriented and overtly efficiency-conscious methods of the mainstream animal farming industry. I still feel bad about eating cheese and yogurt made of cow's milk, since dairy industry could not exist without meat industry and raising cattle (i.e. cows) is a lot more energy-consuming than raising for instance pigs or goats. I should probably switch to goat cheese, but I like all the other kinds of cheese too! A girl's entitled to have one vice, isn't she? And in the energy issue I compensate with not owning or driving a passenger car. I don't even have a license :)

...our cats seem to dislike the sound of me playing piano. The truth is, I haven't been playing that much since the cats joined our household about two years ago, which has caused them to regard our piano as nothing more than a convenient place to lounge on.

But that's no excuse for hiding underneath the bed when I played "Walking in the Air" yesterday! I even played with the muffler pedal down for fear of disturbing the neighbours and embarrassing myself with my rather out-of-practice musical skills.

And to think that these are the kittens who grew up to the sound of Black Sabbath, Tarot et al. No appreciation for fine music whatsoever.